Jubili

Hello Froyo enthusiasts!

Sorry for the delay, we have been tirelessly excavating the Yay for all the best Frozen Yogurt, a process that is not for the weak of heart. But don't worry, we're back, loyal followers, with an exciting and jubilant new review. The establishment in question today is Jubili Frozen Yogurt, located at 1515 Fillmore St. Open till 11:00 pm seven days a week it provides options for both the health conscious and the FroYo conscious. 

We entered the sterile, white, and clean Jubili with great expectations. We saw our natural tart flavor and our mochi, however in place of any chocolate accoutrements there was matcha green tea powder and flaxseed; questionable, yet unique. Unperturbed, we began chatting up the young man behind the pristine counter, who told us of the days' special sorbets and informed us that they had tragically run out of their only chocolate option: Ghiradelli bits. We plunged ahead, forged on into unfamiliar territory and stared down the topping bar. We were impressed with the wide array of unique options, protein powder, coco powder, coconut shavings, and a whole slew of cereals; the athlete's FroYo bar. 

Ordering two medium natural tart flavor yogurts, we were surprised to find a superior flavor in their creamy, not icy, concoction. It tasted true of pure yogurt, yet kissed gently by honeybees, offering a sweet nectar, cutting the harshness of the yogurt. Mrs. Freeze opted for a mochi, peanut, and graham cracker experience, while Dr. Tartbaum loaded her swirly mountain with mochi and lucky charms. Toppings were very fresh, the mochi was chewy yet soft, the peanuts were adequately crunchy, the graham crackers and cereal crisp and explosive. However, we found a lack of contrast in the choice of toppings, and the combination of flavors, while refreshing, was not entirely satisfying and lacked punch. 

Here is the breakdown:

Pros:

-Very clean, very professional

-Staff was informative and personable

-Natural tart flavor was superior, better than any we had tasted so far

-Wide variety of healthy, non-fruit, bowel-encouraging toppings

-Many places to sit down and enjoy FroYo

-Prices competitive

Cons:

-Slightly sterile environment, not much fun

-The clientele showed a lack of concern for the FroYo cause, as if consuming FroYo was a passive activity

-Staff did not grasp the gravity of the chocolate-free situation

-The seating, while plentiful, was awkward and hurt our tushies.

-Their name was deceiving, a jubilant name should be matched with jubilant decor, jubilant toppings, and jubilant clientele, none of which we found.

On the 1 to 5 scale, we rate Jubili a solid 3; great flavor and worth trying, but unless we were in the neighborhood we would not purposefully seek it out. 

Icebee

Salutations, 

Well dear followers, this is the premiere review of an exciting saga. The honors tonight go to Icebee, a self serve FroYo bar located conveniently on Mission next to the Metreon. It in fact is under the Mission St. parking garage. 

When we first entered the self-serve Icebee establishment we were a little skeptical. With no staff to guide us in assembling our FroYo, how were we to create a delicious masterpiece?! Furthermore, how could the quality of the natural tart suffice when it is kept captive in a wall freezer all day? And finally, wouldn't you expect the staff to be neglectful and apathetic when all they are there for is to take your money and look cute?

And yet, with bravery, we started to self-serve. Holding the colossal one-size-serves-all pink bowls we realized this was no job for amateurs. As the swirls emanated from the natural tart dispenser we were hit with two notions: 1) The appearance was messy in comparison to the perfect cone shape one associates with FroYo 

2) We could not stop dispensing. 

Moving forth with our excessive mountains of FroYo we came to the topping bar. Ignoring the many fruity options as well as the negligible syrups, we started for the multi-colored mochi love pillows. We moved on to the mini chocolate chips, the different brands of cereal, the vast array of cookies, and the colorful sprinkles. Like God created the Earth, so we created something truly magical. 

And just as Adam was birthed, we then met Ethan, the beautiful perky boy behind the counter who didn't judge us for our gluttonous FroYo cups even when  the yuppies behind us left with a quarter sized dollop of FroYo in their cups and pretended to have a good time. That is no way to live.  Ethan smiled at us in admiration and rang us up for our FroYo (Priced by weight. Not ours mind you, the FroYos'.) Clearly, he could tell, we had done this before. 

Let us break it down for you. 

Icebee excels in more areas than it lacks. 

Strengths:

- Pleasant, fresh natural tart, though toppings take center stage

- Toppings are fresh and plentiful (almost thirty different options)

- Staff is superior to all FroYo establishments so far

- The experience of creating the FroYo puts you in creative control and affirms your worth as a human being. 

- Surprisingly very well maintained for being a do-it-yourself establishment, immaculate. Really. 

- Plenty of seating including booths and a bar area. 

- Good music. 

- Fabulous prices. An epic amount of Fro for only 5 dollars.

- OPEN LATE. Midnight on weekends. 

Weaknesses:

- The natural tart, while good, is not the best we have experienced. 

- While there are many options for toppings, there is nothing out of the box or adventurous. 

-No portion control! Be warned: you will enter wanting a small snack and leave after consuming a biblical amount of frozen yogurt. 

-It only stays open till midnight on weekends. (Where is the 24 hour FroYo? Where?)

On the 1 to 5 scale, we rate IceBee a 3.5; worth your time and money but not apocalyptic. 

Frozen Yogurt: A Love Story

Dear FroYo enthusiasts, allow us to introduce ourselves and share with you the adventure that you are about to embark upon. We are two San Francisco pioneers out to reshape and redefine the experience that is Frozen Yogurt. You can affectionately think of us as Mrs. Freeze and Dr. Tartbaum. 

Several months ago, while craving an illusive frosty treat known as Fro Yo, the terrifying thought dawned upon us that we were in over our heads in a city paved with crunched up oreos, mini chocolate chips, and the bright sheen of the brilliance known as natural tart. We simply did not know where to begin! Where could we find the best toppings? Which FroYo establishment would tickle our bootstraps most effectively? Where could we find the most helpful staff, the freshest ingredients, the most inviting environment, and most of all, the most refreshing tartest yogurt? We were baffled. 

Thus, we have taken it upon ourselves to embark on an expedition. We have shouldered the burden of educating the greater San Francisco area on the best, boldest, bravest bowl of Frozen Yogurt. Join us as we take you, shop by shop, on a swirling, sprinkled, smooth voyage that will ultimately result in finding the holy grail of FROYO!! We will rate each shop according to a range of criteria creating a comprehensive bible of who's who in FroYo's vast world. 

Some disclaimers: after much deliberation and angst, we have decided to only judge based on the natural tart FroYo flavor. Some might exclaim, "Blasphemy! Why have you chosen to exclude flavored Frozen Yogurt?" Well, our dear followers, it is our thinking the Frozen Yogurt is best in its most natural, innocent, virginal state accented with the exuberant flavors, exciting colors and rich textures of toppings. If we wanted many different flavors of the frosty treat we would get ice cream, damnit. In addition, we will also be excluding fruit from our judgements. We feel to not do so would be unoriginal and,  quite frankly, too grown up for us. All of us have discovered, years ago, that yes, fruit and yogurt go well together. However, this blog is not about reaffirming what we already know. It is about pushing the boundaries and exploring new frontiers. This is not a blog for the weak minded. But if you crave adventure, danger, and explosions of flavor, you've come to the right blog. 

So, chill out, open your mind, and most importantly your mouth. And get ready to Know Yo Fro.